Stop
I like to think of myself as an observant person. (I suppose this is somewhat like thinking you have a sense of humor - everybody thinks they have one.) Anyway, I was using my observational skills last week on the drive home and noticed a stop sign (slightly bent up) lying on the left shoulder of the freeway.
Hmm.
I believe that, on some level, everybody would like a street sign. But most people are unwilling to go out in the middle of the night with tools to snatch one. It's illegal, the hardware on them is nonstandard, and the amount of alcohol you consume convincing yourself it really is a great idea (Really!) does things to your hand-eye coordination, making it even harder to use those tools. Not to mention that at some point (for men, it's the moment you get married) street signs are no longer acceptable interior decorating items. So my own desire for a street sign had gone dormant years ago.
Suddenly this desire flamed back up again - there's one on the shoulder! Just laying there! Already detached from that pesky post! If only I weren't sailing past it at 75 mph. Oh well. I figured it would be gone by the next day and forgot all about it.
Wednesday it snuck up on me, and I didn't notice it until I was going by. I told myself that if traffic was going slower that I would pull over and snag it. Yeah, I would. Sure. Of course, this was fairly academic as traffic generally hums along through this stretch of the freeway. Thursday I was ready for it, but once again, traffic was sailing. The sign was still there though.
Friday night traffic, however, has been slow all summer. We were slow as I approached the sign but it looked like traffic was going to open up. I decided that if the fast lane was going 40 mph or slower I'd pull over. I came over the slight rise just before where the sign was and saw brake lights. Before I could second-guess myself I pulled over. Knowing that nothing looks more suspicious than a suspicious-looking person, I strode purposefully to the sign, grabbed it, and slid it into my trunk without so much as a look around. 30 seconds after I stopped I was merging back into traffic, la ti da...
It's pretty beat up and has some graffiti on it, but it is now hanging in my garage. I haven't told Katy about it - I think the eyeroll factor will be pretty high for this little stunt - so I thought I'd see how long it takes her to notice it. (Of course, now that you've read this you are co-opted. Don't be a narc.)
[Update: I've been ratted out! By my own son! Apparently everybody was loading into the car to go to Story Time at the library and Cam said "Look! A stop sign!" So that took less than 24 hours.]